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My current screen lock for my iPod. I'm sitting here bored listening to music and about to play some more DoodleJump. If you have an iPod touch or iPhone, I suggest DoodleJump to you! It's extremely addicting like heroine but so fucking fun!!!
The title is random. didn't feel like doing a serious title, through this is a serious matter.
So....
I was on tdwpband.com and I was going through the forum and found this topic that was about For Today's Talmidim (The Servants).
At first I didn't watch it cause I figured I should just go over to their myspace (link above) and just listen to them there. I ended up liking what I heard (instrumentally not lyrically) so I got their Portraits album. Well the next day (Saturday), I was stuck in standstill traffic for an hour and I was listening to the album. So, I heard Talmidim (The Servants), all I could think was that it was super preachy and not something I'd completely get into (cause though I love TDWP (The Devil Wears Prada), I usually am not a spiritual person). Well I listened to it again after I got out of the traffic and by the time I got home I started thinking.
Maybe I'm wrong about this whole "Greater Power" thing. Maybe there is a "God". Many questions later, I can confidently say I am confused, I do not know what to believe anymore. I've been set in my atheist ways for so long now and I feel as if I have good reasons for choosing to be atheist, but this song and this band have changed that. I'm starting to think that I may have been wrong for too long now. However, I see how these religious people act and I feel as if I'm way different from them.
I feel like I'm in a dark room trying to grasp onto something that isnt there. I talked to
xxxjazzymoose about this cause she has recently found "God" and she understands what I'm going through. She said a lot of things that just add on to the confusion, but a lot of things that could help. She said something about Alexisonfire's Born And Raised. I think all the members of Alexisonfire are atheist, but this song just explains how confused I am when it comes to having faith. My heart says it wants to believe in something but my brain says there is nothing to believe in.
I just don't know.